omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize