im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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