I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
They took my balls.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
