How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
