I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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