You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
