I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
