You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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