I need help removing her.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Where are you guys?
Drunk
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
