Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
