I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
