Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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