I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
