He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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