Im at strip club and am horny
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Randomize
