i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
