i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
