She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
