He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
