toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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