Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she looked like the before picture.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
MIDGETS
????
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
