no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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