I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
