Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Found the puke drawer
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
