That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
