i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
