he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
