listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
