I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
