wanna go halves on a baby?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
