I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
