dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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