his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
