forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize