I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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