I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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