when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
