so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Randomize
