i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
