OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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