Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
