bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
my being single is dangerous.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize