When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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