Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
