no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
