the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
are you so shy because you have an std?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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