The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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