So gin and wine won't be happening again
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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