i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
