so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I still have a little drunk in my system
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
