You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
