summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
