Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
