Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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