we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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