I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
