watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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