she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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