There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
