ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
