Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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